Guilty As Charged

Guilty As Charged
 
Sitting on the bench of this long narrow hallway.  Hearing the voices of strangers; elevator doors opening and closing, and doorknobs turning.  I feel paranoid, schizophrenic, bipolar, or psychotic.  It’s so chaotic
Contemplating on taking a stand; snitching on “my former lead man”.  Reminiscing on how the bad times outweighed the good.  It’s time to tell the truth, maybe I should.  Why does it feel so wrong?  Why am I second guessing my statement?  I feel all alone.  
I’ve been unappreciated, abused, unwanted for far too long.  Now, I have the power to rewrite the final bar of his song.  I don’t want it!  I don’t want to be responsible for his conviction!  My consequence….I will remain his victim
This is not fair! We’re not supposed to be here!  I tried to keep things a secret; hidden, buried on a leash—only I can beautify this beast.  It wasn’t enough you had to do more, showing everyone your true colors
I’m so untouched, unattached, desensitized…off the map.  Why would I take you back? Kids? Family? Love?  I don’t remember the last time you showed me “real love”—giving me non-judgmental, supportive, or comforting hug.  Allowing me to express myself freely, loving me unconditionally
At this point I deserve to be in a better place; my scars, hurt, and love for myself have taken me to win first place.  If I don’t STAND NOW you will FOREVER be in control.  I’m taking my life back, it is no longer YOURS forever to hold